


In My Heart

by The_Serlocked_Heart



Category: Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Genre: Crusades, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Serlocked_Heart/pseuds/The_Serlocked_Heart
Summary: Best friends Jessyca and Rosie decide to go and see Kingdom of Heaven at the movie theater one rainy afternoon, but little do they know, that one small misstep could lead to something more than any of them have ever dreamed of. (Rated T for later chapters and intensely awesome fights and all that!)
Relationships: Balian of Ibelin/Original Character(s), Guy de Lusignan/Sibylla of Jerusalem
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Sadly, Rosie and I (Jessyca) do not own Kingdom of Heaven. 
> 
> Author's note: This is an extended version of a story that I wrote with my friend, Rosie, who helped me with a lot of the plot for this story. Also, I am using an early draft of the screenplay, as well as watching the movie while I write, so that's fun. I am also going to try to write my own scenes. Even though the movie was released in 2005, I am going to let it be released in 2019, since I was only nine and...well….I don't think my mother would have allowed me to watch that sort of film. Haha!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> ~ Jessyca

I looked out the living room window as I finished typing out the next chapter of a short story that I was writing for my English class about a young woman and a soldier from an enemy country, watching the birds hopping on the grass that had been moistened from this morning's rainfall.

I was taking the last bite of my lunch, a bagel with cream cheese, since I hadn't felt like eating this morning, when my phone buzzed.

A big smile swept across my face like how the ocean waves roll into the sand, when I suddenly remembered what was happening today. The reason why I hadn't slept a wink last night, why my heart was beating out of my chest and why I could hardly breathe, and why I was in such a state.

Just then, I heard my phone buzz loudly beside me. It was a text from my friend, Rosie.

OMG! Today's the day! Are you ready for the best night ever?!

Today was October 11th, at least according to the calendar on my phone, and I was going to have a sleepover with my best friend, Rosie. And part of our day was going to see this new movie called _Kingdom of Heaven_ , with our all-time favorite actor, Orlando Bloom. It was the extended edition, which apparently was a little bit longer than the regular version, around three hours, but that meant lots more scenes and more memorable moments. Besides, we had been able to sit through the third Lord of the Rings movie, which was three and a half hours, so we were used to being still for long periods of time.

We had been planning this day for a long time. We both admitted that we would have loved to be at the premiere together, but of course there was such a thing as distance and travel and passports, and there was little chance of us actually meeting the stars. But perhaps one day, we would get a chance to meet our favourite actor.

I immediately texted her back as I took my plate into the kitchen and washed it up a bit.

Totally! I'm so excited! See you at 2:00!

We wanted to get to the theatre as early as possible so that we could get good seats, but it was still only twelve-thirty so I had enough time to go upstairs to freshen up. First, I brushed my teeth and put the toothbrush and toothpaste in a small black bag, along with a hairbrush and a pair of pajamas. Then, I took a quick shower and washed my hair, putting a handful of sculpting cream in it so it would be curlier than it usually was. I loved the texture and feeling of the brush going through it. When I was completely dry, I got dressed in a white long-sleeved shirt, a black skirt and leggings and my favorite pair of ballet flats.

"Don't forget your travel bag!" I heard my mum call from upstairs and I quickly went into my room to retrieve it. I hadn't been to a sleepover since I was about seven or eight when my older sister invited me to one on a Saturday, just before she graduated from college, though neither of us slept since I wasn't used to being away from my parents or siblings, so we ended up watching TV the whole night instead. Since I was older, it would be a bit easier.

Once I was ready, I got another text.

I'm outside your house. :) 

I laughed a little and it was just beginning to drizzle when I walked down the steps and saw Rosie waving out the window of her mum's car, but then again, it happened a lot in England, and I was too excited to care, anyways. I smiled when I opened the car door and climbed in the back seat. Rosie was wearing the black Pirates of the Caribbean t-shirt that she had gotten for her birthday.

"You girls ready?" her mum asked enthusiastically. Both of our parents had been ever so accepting of our fangirling; I mean, I am certain that my family, especially my younger brother and sisters, had some questions about how my mind operated, and admittedly, they playfully teased me about it, but they were used to it by now.

"We're all set!" We said, and we drove off. The windshield wipers worked tirelessly in order to make it easier and certain that we would get there in one piece. 

For the entire ride, we talked about how this movie was based on things that actually happened in history, which kinda made me feel smart, like how my youngest sister knew pretty much everything about _Hamilton._

I had read some articles on the Crusades a few days ago, as well as the spoiler-free plot for the movie, and we did agree that they switched things up a bit, mostly for entertainment purposes and all that, or else it would be more of a documentary than a movie, not that we cared one way or the other, unlike some people who just wanted to pick on everything.

We also talked about how cute Orlando looked in the trailers and on the movie poster, but that was more or less important than the film, though to be honest, that was the only reason we were actually going to see it in the first place, besides, movies with a whole lot of gore and violence didn't really appeal to me, unlike Rosie, who didn't seem to be bothered by it, not to mention there would probably be a pretty passionate scene, though that didn't bother me as much, so long as all the necessary parts were covered up.

It seemed like a pretty short drive from my house to the movie theatre, but that was probably because we were talking the entire way there. We pulled up right in front of the theater and looked in through the window, there was hardly anyone inside, either, other than the guys behind the counter, which was odd seeing as how it just came out today, and this was the first showing. Normally, the theatre would be packed with people on the first day, but maybe it was because it wasn't as popular as some of the films that were out today.

I pushed the heavy door open and the smell of buttery popcorn filled our noses. There were children playing in the small arcade and their parents stood watch. Two boys playing air hockey smiled at us as we went to the booth to pay for our tickets, then went into the hallway. It was the second door from the last.

"Wait!" Rosie said, taking my hand before I could step through the door. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she grinned as I nodded. We stood in front of the huge poster and snapped some pictures. A serious one, and then a few goofy ones.

"That's my new wallpaper!" I laughed as I chose the one where both of us were kissing the handsome man on the poster.

"Send those to me, will you?" I heard her whisper.

"Yeah, I'll send them while we're sitting down," I replied and we walked into the pitch black room.

Surprisingly, hardly anyone was in the screening room besides the three of us. Just a group of five girls around our age sat at the row third from the top, and an older couple, possibly their parents, sat with them. No doubt they were here for Orlando, but who were we to judge? We were here for the same reason. No doubt they would be screaming or swooning when the shirt came off, which was a possibility considering that part of this movie's rating was for some content that might not be suitable for children. 

Well, duh. 

I doubt that if I were under the age of 13, my mother would have allowed me to watch something like this; to be honest, the only reason I didn't watch films like this, was because I was not comfortable around and was easily deterred by violence and things like that, however, I was willing to make an exception for Orlando, and since Rosie got me completely on board with this movie, I was willing to at least watch it before I judged it. 

Luckily, there were ramps beside the stairs and the spaces between the aisles were wide, so it would be easier for people to decide where they wanted to sit. We chose to sit about five rows up from the front row so we wouldn't have to crane our necks up to be able to see everything. I found that really annoying.

"I'm going to go and get us some popcorn and drinks," Rosie's mum said once everyone had settled in. We nodded and I clicked my phone so it would display the time. 1:40. It would be another twenty minutes until the movie started. Suddenly, the screen turned on. The sound blared through the big speakers and we were forced to find any means possible to protect our ears, but eventually the volume was lowered a bit and it was a lot easier to tolerate.

"Don't you just hate it when it does that?!" Rosie half-laughed, half-groaned. It took a while for us to find our pulse again!

"It's horrible, that's why I always brace myself so that it doesn't give me a heart attack!" I shouted over the noise.

While we watched the commercials, I sent the photos to Rosie, and then texted my mom. We are here. Love you lots. XO.

There was an advertisement for a couple of new movies coming out including an animated movie that looked really funny and something my siblings would enjoy, and some cast interviews which were interesting to watch and thankfully, did not contain any spoilers.

Just before it started, we put our phones on silent, all the lights on the ceiling went out, and the screen was black. It was completely quiet, other than the girls in the back giggling about something, I wanted to turn around and tell them to be quiet, but I knew better, and I didn't want to start any drama. Thankfully, I didn't have to, because the sounds of the movie drowned them out, and I sat back and relaxed.

I will be honest with you; I didn't actually think that I would enjoy _Kingdom of Heaven_ as much as I thought I would, however it took a while for me to get used to all the sword fighting, a bit unlike the stuff they did in Pirates of the Caribbean, seeing as how most of the deaths were on screen in all their glory and splendor. I actually expected to see something really unsettling and run out of the room crying and calling for something to bleach my eyes, as the expression goes. 

But I was wrong; it was one of those movies where you couldn't look away or else we might have missed something important. And I certainly didn't want to look away when the two lovers were….err….making sweet love to each other on screen, and that shirtless scene I was taking about earlier, well, it happened and the group of girls in the back were screaming in uncontainable joy. 

Was it really that big of a deal that they had to ruin the moment?

I was positive I had spotted something that should have been covered up. I had never seen anyone do that on camera, or in real life for that matter, until today. I'd never even seen a shirtless man on screen until today, and to tell you the truth, I found him attractive. 

Now, that was something I would never forget. And definitely something I would be teased about later. If it weren't for the background soundtrack, it would have been very awkward.

"Bet you've never seen anything like that before," Rosie whisper-laughed beside me, searching my face for any sign of discomfort, and I nodded. 

"You got that right; but I'll admit, I'd love to be in her place right now," I pointed to the woman, who I completely forgot the name of, but was too invested to try and remember. 

"Maybe someday you'll find your own Balian," she shrugged and then turned her eyes back to the screen; we lapsed back into silence. 

Near the middle of the movie, there was a very emotional scene in which one of our favourite characters were taking his last breath - I won't tell you who in case you ever find yourself watching the film and you don't want spoilers - and I'm pretty sure Rosie had to remind me several times throughout, that it was 'just a movie', and that he didn't die in real life, but there was very little that could be done to comfort me;

At least until the end, when the main couple got together, of course it was obvious from the start, but that didn't mean I still couldn't share in the happiness. 

It was around five o'clock when the movie ended and the lights turned on again. Rosie and I were the only ones to stay for the after credits, like the dedicated movie lovers we were. We wiped our tear-stained faces and then stepped out of the screening room, we kept remarking to ourselves how irritating this person was, and how we just wanted them to die, but also how we loved this person and that person, and recounted the many times we cried.

"I didn't think they were ever gonna get rid of that one guy," Rosie's mum said with a disapproving shake of her head. 

"Yeah, he was really starting to get on my nerves. Though I would have given anything to be the one to smite him." I agreed, crumbling up my popcorn bag. 

"Wow, I didn't pin you as the smiting type," she said with air quotes. 

"What can I say?" I said, putting my palms up. "I will protect and defend anyone who needs saving. It spawns from all the animal rights articles in the news." 

"Yup, no doubt about that," I heard her chuckling just as we stood up.

As we walked out of the screening room and the lights turned on so we could see where we were going, we heard the girls talking behind us, though they were a lot quieter than they were before. But when we opened the door that read, Exit, my boot had caught on the door stop and I tripped. The last thing I saw was my friend looking down at me in concern before everything went black.

The first thing that I became aware of when I slowly slipped back into consciousness, was an intense throbbing pain in my head- the second was the sound of several concerned voices talking at once in hushed voices, or at least it sounded like a lot of voices, since my hearing was a little bit fuzzy, or maybe they were outside my room. I couldn't really tell.

I tried opening my eyes and quickly regretted it, seeing as how that small action made my headache immensely. I slowly moved my hand and placed it over my eyes, which felt like it had been doused with a great amount of sea water, a tiny groan escaping my lips in the process. The movement caused me to feel the soft material that I was currently resting on. It was rather soft... it was satin. No, maybe silk. Possibly both.

For the first time since my consciousness had decided to return, I heard a voice. All I was able to find out was that this person was definitely male, but an unfamiliar one as far as I knew. It was hard since I wasn't able to make out much of anything. It was as if a thick cloud was surrounding my head and blocking off all of my senses. It irritated me greatly that I was unaware of the situation I was in and, basically, helpless. The only thing I could do was hope and pray that I was in no potential danger and no harm would come to me.

Suddenly, a warm, gentle hand was placed on the left side of my head, two fingers being placed upon the flesh on my neck, right above my collar bone. I quickly came to the conclusion that he must be checking my pulse rate. Then the hand moved to my forehead, pulling the bangs out of my face in the process, probably checking to see if I had contracted any illnesses.

I stirred slightly from underneath the sheets and managed to open my eyes almost halfway, just enough to see what was going on around me. I noticed that it was dark outside, so it must have been nighttime, and I was in a comfortable bed, with clean sheets and a couple of pillows to keep my head from hitting the headboard. Everything seemed so familiar. Like dejà vu. The flowers in the pot over to my right, and the painting on the wall were in the movie we just watched. I remembered the scene so well.

I must have sat up a little too quickly. The blood rushed to my head. and I felt two gentle hands on my shoulders and myself being gently laid down again.

"There we go, it's alright, you're safe now," the voice said, gently. He sounded familiar, like I'd heard it somewhere before, I just couldn't think of where. My eyes slowly looked to the right, finally getting a good look at the unidentifiable man sitting in a chair that was next to the bed I was currently occupying.

The first thing I was able to notice was his dark brown eyes. Concern and kindness was evident in his crystal irises and they were so deep, that I could easily get lost in them, but I could also sense some pain in them, like he had been weeping. His jaw line was very defined and sharp. His hair was a black, almost like raven's feathers and it looked like it hadn't been brushed in weeks. He was bundled up in a dark coat and scarf. I also noticed that his hands were a little rough in a few places, as a result of hours of hard work; and it looked like he'd gotten a touch of frostbite, so he must have been outside for a really long time back in the winter. He also had a lot of facial hair, though not enough to be considered impossibly hairy.

He was a very handsome man, indeed. As my eyes traveled to my right, I saw Rosie sitting right beside him. I watched the small smile that graced his lips as he watched me examine him from head to toe.

 _Balian? How_ _hard did I hit my head?_

This didn't make any sense. How could I have traveled back in time? I must have been given some strong medication at the hospital in order for me to have such vivid hallucinations. I had never had hallucinations before, but I thought they would have been more odd like fifty-foot ladybugs, or being on an island in the middle of nowhere. Not only that, normally if you are in a dream-like state, don't the images normally appear to be more hazy, like having the sun shining on them, or something?

Anyway, it was too real to be a dream. I knew I was awake. I could feel the cloth being pressed against my forehead. It was cold and damp. Last time I checked, you couldn't feel things like that if you were dreaming. Had someone kidnapped me? I didn't remember being darted or anything, unless there was something in the popcorn that we ate, I knew there was something fishy about the popcorn!

"Where am I?" Finally, I was able to say something, but it came out very raspy and scratchy from the abundance of sleep that I had seemingly received. "How did I get here?" I asked, looking around.

The man frowned as he dipped a cloth into a bowl of water, squeezed some of the excess liquid out of it, and then started to pat my head down. "Well, you had a terrible head injury when we found you. My apprentice was the one who spotted you lying unconscious on the ground. Your friend stayed right by your side the entire time." He nodded toward Rosie, who smiled also. I glanced at Rosie who was sitting at the end of the bed. She was dressed in strange clothes that belonged in another century, but looked amazing on her.

All of my thoughts were too jumbled up to not get their meaning. Rosie stood up, looking outside the window, she noted that it was dark, just after sundown. The air was cold, and there was some snow on the ground. I looked to Rosie for an explanation, but she seemed just as confused as I was. 

"My Lady, are you all right?" he asked, drawing me out of my thoughts. He leaned forward and took hold of my hand. His thumb brushed lightly against my palm. I nodded slowly, trying to clear my head of the throbbing pain that kept irritating it.

"I think so. My head hurts a lot, though." I reached to feel it. Sure enough, there was a big gash across it. I moved my hand away and saw the bits of blood and dirt that was left from the fall. He smiled a little, continuing to press the cloth on my head.

"Don't worry, you can stay as long as you need to, until we can get you home; surely your family must be worried about you."

_Home?_

I lowered my eyes slightly. There was no way that this kind man would believe me if I told them that 'home' was far away from this place, from this time. Obviously, the clothes I was wearing could have told him that. I was dressed in my t-shirt and jeans, though they probably didn't look as crisp and clean as they did just hours ago. I didn't seem to be wearing that anymore, I looked down and saw that I was wearing a white nightgown.

Maybe it was just like every time traveling movie where once you get into a new era, your clothes change, too; I was going to say that my look completely changed altogether, but Rosie looked just as she normally would, other than her clothes were different, too, but her hair and eyes were the same, and she was still wearing her glasses.

"I see." He nodded, sympathetically. After he finished bandaging my head, he blew out the candles except for one. "Get some rest and you will feel better tomorrow."

"Thank you." I whispered, struggling to stay awake. My eyes were heavy and my body was exhausted, even though it seemed like I slept for a really long time. "Might I know the name of my saviour?"

"Balian." I nodded, biting down on my cheek to keep from smiling like a crazy person, though Rosie didn't even try to keep hers back. Despite the confused look that was given to us, we knew that our suspicions were confirmed. He just shook his head smiling before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"Okay! This is insane!" Rosie's smile was bigger than I had ever seen it. We looked at each other and we both knew what the other was thinking, "We have traveled back in time!" No matter how crazy we probably sounded. It was true. We had somehow made it to the time of the crusades.

"But how?" I asked her. The pain had lessened but I still felt weak.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "All I know is that we walked through the door leading to the theater exit, and then you tripped over your boot. Here's the fun part. You know that part in _Alice Through the Looking Glass_ when she went through the mirror in Hamish's mansion to get to Underland? Well, I think that's what happened, and now we're here."

"Wait, which part of the movie are we in?" I thought for a moment. It couldn't be too far in, as we had not yet met anyone besides Balian, but it wasn't winter time anymore, so it was hard to tell. Maybe we would just let things happen and then we would know for sure. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting this all sink in.

"Well, we should go to sleep anyway," Rosie whispered. "We'll probably be up before sunrise tomorrow morning."

I laughed, people tended to get up early these days. "Probably."

I felt like I was in an episode of _Doctor Who_ and the Doctor himself had come and whisked Rosie and I away in the _ _TARDIS__ to the Middle Ages, or had we just been watching the movie and got sucked in like in ___Jumanji?___ All I knew at that point was, I needed to figure out what our purpose here was, and how were we supposed to get back home?


	2. Chapter Two

Sleeping should have been nearly impossible, mostly because I had apparently been sleeping all afternoon and through most of the evening, but partly because I was in a strange place and I always had a bit of difficulty sleeping on my first night away from home; only one thing seemed to bother me. Where was Rosie's mum? How come she didn't come with us? She was probably worried sick and I wished there was a way to let her know that we were alright, that we were in another era and would perhaps face certain death, but we were fine. And it wasn't just the flow of whys, whos, and wheres, it was also the wind howling outside, and blowing through the trees.

My head pounded when I sat up and I nearly collapsed as I wandered over to the window; thankfully, I had managed to steady myself just enough and regained my balance; and pulled back the thin drapes; the sun had risen, but it was hidden behind a thick layer of cloud; frost clung to the windows and hedges, it was beautiful, like a winter wonderland, ravens were perched on the frozen branches of stripped trees, and low fog settled on the November fields of France; a season of mud and snow. Rosie was already awake; her bed was made and her night-dress was folded up nicely and placed at the end of it; this was surprising since neither of us were fond of getting up early. Any attempt at going back to sleep was failing; there was just something about being in another era that managed to keep me awake. 

I was used to having an analog clock on my desk to tell me what time it was, and seeing as how they didn't seem to have those here, I had to rely on my instincts. I usually woke up at five-thirty to get ready for school, I guessed it was around that time now; the constant patter of footsteps outside our door confirmed that everyone else was awake, so I went into the little brown wardrobe and searched through the clothes to find something practical to wear until I decided on a plain black shirt with long sleeves and a matching cloak; then I replaced my flats for a pair of warm boots; I actually began to wonder if when they found me I could have frozen to death. Lastly, I took out the hair tie, holding up my ponytail, and let the curls fall down my back. 

As I stepped out of the room and for the first time, I was able to get a good look at the house; it was remarkable how it managed to withstand such bitter weather and strong winds when it was only constructed by hand with clay, mud, and straw; a short time later, I stopped in the entryway of what could have passed as the living-room, and lingered there for a minute or two. A rope still hung from a rafter, an eerie reminder of that dreadful night; There was a cradle, finely made, standing in the middle of the room; a basket filled with infant's clothes and my heart dropped; Not wishing to stay too long, I walked to the front door and a cold breeze greeted me; it stung my eyes, blurring them to the point of almost not being able to see; blinking a few times, I was able to make out the shape of a black silhouette that contrasted against the frozen ground.

I kept walking, to get a closer look and saw that it was Balian, on his knees, staring into the empty, starless void; I wondered whether or not it would be wise to let him know I was there, or just pass by and leave him be; I did not want to intrude, but I also didn't want him to be grieving alone. 

My question did not need answering as Balian paused in his reverie to turn to me; his face held nothing except the fact that he has again remembered that his wife and child were dead. I stepped slowly and knelt down in the snow beside him. "Are you not cold?" He asked me; there were snowflakes on his eyelashes and eyebrows; his head was covered so that his ears and face would not freeze. He looked almost beautiful, if it weren't for that wistful look in his eyes, though who was I kidding? Even then, he looked every bit the hero on the screen. 

"I don't mind it so much." Ironically, as soon as I said these words, another breeze blew a whirlwind of snow into the air and I shivered and the corners of his lips turned into an amused smile and I playfully stuck out my tongue; but the good mood didn't last long; From behind me, I heard footsteps and turned my head only slightly, to see a priest, a gravedigger, and some boys who either were part of the crew, or were just following them around because they didn't have anything better to do; I did notice that the gravedigger and the boys carried bundles of fuel and torches; The burden-carriers walked on, crossing themselves, in semi-respectful silence (though one of the boys laughed, and was swatted by the gravedigger). The priest remained behind, and crouched by Balian. It took me a second to remember that the priest was his brother, well, half-brother, I didn't know the whole story, all I did know, was that Rosie and I absolutely hated the man, and it wasn't normal for any of us to hate people. 

"Her grave was here. Or was it there?" The man said as he turned his head and pointed to a random section in the snow and chuckled. "I'm afraid I can't tell you the exact location. I wasn't present at the burial." Balian stared at the ground, but I was this close to punching this unwelcome intruder, but I kept silent, averting my gaze and biting the inside of my cheek to keep from saying something ill-tempered. "Call me a liar. You have reason. You never fight back." The man shoved his hand into Balian's face as he pushed him viciously then did it again, while he simply looked at him. 

At this point, I was tired and angry and homesick, and was not in the mood to deal with such petulant behaviour. "Perhaps he won't, but I will," I said lowly, feeling my blood boil; If I were lacking in good manners, or more impulsive, I would have used a few choice words, but that would have just been lowering myself to his level. I took a breath and my eyes locked onto him dangerously, as if I were piercing him with an imaginary dagger. "If you dare touch him, or speak to him like that again." 

He ignored me, brushing me away and treating me as if I were as pathetic as the insects burrowed underground, and continued. "You always turn the other cheek. I think that you conceive yourself without sin. That is a sin!" 

I knew quite well what he was doing, trying to get a reaction, and he did a darn good job; In a moment of heated, uncontrollable anger, I ran over to the man as he stood up and slapped him hard in the face leaving a red mark across his cheek on his pale skin and he rubbed his cheek. "If you have any common sense, I suggest you leave." I said between clenched teeth; I could have shouted and made a fuss, but instead I curled my toes into my boots and stood still. My hands were balled into fists and I squeezed so tightly that I could feel my nails digging into them, and I was trembling from head to toe as the adrenaline and panic coursed through me. 

With half a mind to tackle him to the ground and punch him harder, and he left, chuckling slightly as Rosie, who was now awake, shouted a string of curses at him, and then came to join us. I seated myself back on the ground with Balian, drying the tears that had begun to roll down my cheeks in a mixture of cold wind and anger, and I noticed his eyes were on me.

"Thank you." Balian said quietly. "No one has ever done anything like that for me before." I could see and feel the anguish and anger he was feeling. I did not know how long it had been since the death of his family. Months? Years? It could have even been days, or weeks; however long it had been, it didn't matter, the pain was evidently still there and it would probably always be there, clawing at his chest and gripping at his heart. 

"It's fine." I nodded quickly looking flustered and moved my hands over to a piece of snow and ruffled it with care. 

* * *

The day continued on at a slow pace, but that was fine since we didn't have anything better that we needed to do. Rosie and I each sat on a log underneath the thatched roof of the forge, as Balian and his apprentice began to work. It took me a considerable amount of time for me to calm down after what just happened. 

No one spoke a single word, but we didn't mind; it actually gave me a considerable amount of time to think. It took me a little while to find out where we were in the movie, since I had only seen it once, I didn't remember everything that had happened, though I was sure that it would all come to me. Once in a while, I glanced up, as a sword with a scorching metal blade, was dipped into a bucket of ice water to cool it off; I was about to learn that fire was a dangerous element, one spark could ignite a flame, therefore, it took a great deal of concentration and patience to keep it under control. 

A little while later, we were hearing children's voices just outside and horses whinnying; the two men stopped hammering at once and setting the swords down, went to investigate; Me, being the curious sort, followed and sure enough, I spotted the men and Rosie, straightening her clothes, came up behind me, and we immediately recognized them.

They were crusaders; and though I didn't remember all of their names, I could distinguish one from the other; and oh, joy! The priest was there, too; I could actually get a better look at his face now that it was a little brighter outside. It was a pale, injured, vengeful face, capable of a routine mask of piety. 

With a dirty finger, he pointed at Balian, saying, "That's the man!" The crusaders all halted to a stop; one of them, a scowling, huge, German knight, ducked low in the saddle, peering into the forge as if looking for stealables. I regarded him with slight interest and he looked back at me. 

The one crusader, a worldly and scholarly man who everyone called Hospitaler - the only one who's name I actually remembered besides Balian's father - moved his horse forward to be closer to him. He was an English sergeant - not a knight, but mounted to fight as one despite inferior armor. 

"You're an armorer, yes? An artificer according to your lord and this priest; You have my sympathy and my blessing. Your dead wife and stillborn child are today the subject of my prayers." He smiled kindly, first turning to the other crusaders, then back to Balian. "We need all these horses shod. We need food, and we'll pay."

Balian looked to his right sideways to his apprentice and nodded at him. Hospitaler faintly smiled as he saw this and looked back to Godfrey. "Says yes," he said to them as the priest nodded at the others.

The crusaders looked back at the blacksmith only to see him return back into his open shop. The group dismounted and brought their horses closer to the shop; there was a black mercenary who went by the name of Firuz, who exchanged a small conversation with his horse before stepping away, then they took off their helmets and fur, sitting on awaiting chairs by a blazing fire in the middle of the shop, warming up quickly.

The principal of the party was Godfrey of Ibelin; who in these days, might pass for a vital sixty, battle-scarred. He wore beneath his cloak, (as do his knights), armor modified by use in the desert, padded and quilted in the Saracen manner. He placed his furs over a chair, looking to the right to see open space behind. He stood up right and walked towards the back of the shop.

I stood near the entrance, watching the blacksmith working away and looking over to Rosie, who was watching me

curiously, a grin on her lips, almost teasing but not quite. The snow had stopped falling, but it was still cold; I drew my coat as close as possible, leaning back on the supporting beam with my arms crossed and watching the village going on about it's business. Children were crowded around some of the newcomers, but they did not seem to mind it at all, in fact, they were smiling. 

"He has made great engines for sieges," The priest was telling the crusaders, though none of them seemed to show any interest in his story; they were tired and cold and when those two things combined, conversations were not pleasant. "He has made war machines that cast the largest stones. He also works finely in silver. He will be one of the few on your journey worth more alive than dead." 

"Shut up," the German knight, whose name was Odo, said, putting the man in his place. 

One of the huge war horses needed to be shoed, but before he could, he had to be roped against the side of the stall and that must have been a frightening experience, but luckily, Balian was there to calm him, talk to him.

"Have you been at war?" Odo asked him. 

Balian nodded, "On horse. And as an engineer also." He straightened up and went to the table which had another horseshoe. 

"Against whom and for whom did you fight?" 

"For one lord against another on a point which cannot be remembered." The hammer sounded throughout the room. 

"There's better game now, one god against another. The pay is proportionate." Odo pointedly menaced Balian with his sword. Balian looked at the point, and then at Odo. Laughter.

"I've been telling him that," The priest interjected, piously opportunistic and making everyone look at him. It was clear to see that Rosie and I weren't the only ones who found him distrustful or annoying. 

I stared into space for a few moments, preparing myself for the inevitable possibility that we would have to fight; we were both peaceful people and did not wish death or misfortune upon anyone, but this was a different time, a different reality, where it was survival of the fittest. I was interrupted when I heard Seifer ask what the carving above the blacksmith's head on a pillar said. It was in Latin, and if it's one language I could not understand, and didn't think I would need, was Latin. 

"'What a man is a man who does not make the world better?” Rosie answered, and the two men turned to her, impressed, then Balian continuing to pound away the horse shoe. "My father cut it there."

The Hospitaler smiled as he continued walking; and looked to at Godfrey.

He stood, to his duty. "Leave me with this man." He told us and we all dispersed. 

"Should we tell him?" Rosie asked me, following my gaze; it was obvious that she was having just as much trouble with the cold as I was. "You know that Balian, will follow him a day and a half after him? Or should we just stay and wait for everything to unfold on it's own accord?" 

"I think we should wait; besides, it's probably best that we don't let on that we know what happens. People will talk." 

"Why not? We'll be like, the wisest people here, like fortune tellers." 

"Only we're not really fortune tellers, we just know the story. And who's to say that us being here changes everything. For every action, is an equal and opposite reaction." 

"Alright, Newton. I get the point." Rosie laughed. "But you could be right; maybe we can change things up a little bit, so it's not so depressing." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, spoiler alert, people die in this movie, and not just the soldiers, either." We stopped talking when we saw the two of them come out of the forge. 

"Jerusalem is easy to find. You come to where the men speak Italian...then continue until they speak something else. We go by Messina. Good-bye." He rode away and the village children began to chase him, and Balian glanced after him curiously, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, this man intrigued him; it was getting cold again, so the four of us went inside the forge. 

Unfortunately, we weren't alone. 

"The village does not want you. When the old lord is dead, they will drive you out. When the bishop is dead, it is certain." 

"And you take my property." 

"The Church will. You? They would have taken you to Jerusalem...away from... all this. I arranged it.

"I swear to you, you will have no peace so long as you stay here. No man ever needed a new world more. Imagine your sin and pain erased. All of it. If you take the Crusade, you may relieve your wife's position in hell." He paused, if only briefly, then said, "I put it delicately. She was a suicide. She is in hell." There was a longer pause, and I could swear that I could see traces of a smirk. "Though what she does there without a head." 

Balian stopped hammering at once, and turned to him unsure of the meaning behind his words, but something caught his eye: A crucifix. 

His wife's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's Chapter Two. Thank you for stopping by and for all the kind comments you've left on our story. Rosie and I adore this movie with all our hearts and writing about it makes me happy. I will be back soon with another chapter. Until then, by for now!


	3. Chapter Three

Do you remember what I told you before? That fire was a dangerous element? Well, this was what I was referring to; one spark, or in this case, several, can ignite a lethal flame, but there was no control over this flame at all; it was made of pure anger and hatred. Rosie and I glanced over at one another; we knew what was coming and as much as I couldn't stand this man, no one, especially Balian needed blood on their hands.

I stood up, wanting to step in, but she shook her head, taking hold of the back of my coat; if I changed the story, a series of unpredictable and possibly unfortunate events would follow and it would mess up with the space-time thingy, therefore, I could not interfere as the priest was pushed into the fire and I closed my eyes to block out the sight of him burning, it was much worse than the scene in _Lord Of The Rings_ when Denethor tried to burn his own son alive - he thought he was dead, but still - and then jumped off the balcony. The flames expanded as he made it out of the fire, but was still burning, and I further covered my face with my arms to protect it from being scorched. 

And then, everything was quiet and still. No one moved, no one spoke; I swallowed, hard, as he walked toward a little basket, it was supposed to be a crib for the baby; inside of it, was a tiny white shirt, reaching out and letting my thumbs graze over the soft material, and tears came into my eyes when I pictured a baby boy wearing it and toddling around the house; with his father's eyes and his mother's smile; it wasn't fair, that this baby was taken so early. 

"It was supposed to be the best day of our lives," he said in such a low voice. "but she was in so much pain; there was blood pooling onto the floors; I insisted that I go and find a doctor, or send someone to because it felt wrong to leave her by herself, but she kept saying 'it's too late, the baby's gone.' and I just watched, helplessly. Imagine not being able to do anything but stand there, helpless while the one you love is suffering." He shook his head, and cleared his throat, going over to the rope and cutting it down. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to see that." I wasn't sure whether he was talking about the rope, or the burning. 

"Are you-"

_No, of course he's not alright. Can't you see he's devastated?_

"We're sorry, too. Jess and I know how hard it was to have to hear those horrible things said about her," Rosie continued on our behalf. 

"I'm fine," he smiled softly, trying to hide it all away and there was a moment of silence.

I glanced down and noticed that there was a burn mark on his hand. "Rosie, did you happen to see any bandages in the kitchen?" 

"Yeah, there were some in the pantry." 

"Would you mind going to get them? You'll go with her?" I turned to the apprentice. "And see if there's any kind of ointment." They both nodded and went back to the house and I smiled a little as we found somewhere decent to sit where I could get enough light. "Show me your hand." He did so and I examined it, it was a second degree burn with the imprint of the crucifix. "It doesn't appear to be infected, but we'll put some of this on anyway, just to make sure it's clean and it will feel better once I fix it up." 

I found a well close by and I instructed Balian to put his hand underneath the tap, then, using my Hulk-like strength, I pumped the water. "My mother always said that if you get a burn like that, run it under cold water." I suppose we could have just stuck it in the snow, but I didn't know how clean the snow actually was; like, whether animals had decided to do their business there, or not. 

It was better to be safe than sorry. 

"But because we also don't want you to get any more frostbite, we won't keep it under there too long." I counted to ten in my head and then stopped pumping the water. "Wow, I've never had to do that before; didn't know it took so much strength." I laughed a little, shaking my arms a little so that they wouldn't be sore and stiff later. 

Rosie and the apprentice came back a minute later, handing me a ready ripped cloth and a vile filled with crystal clear liquid; I silently thanked them and placed both of them beside me. "Perhaps we should warm the water a bit." Rosie took the bowl of water and after putting on a glove, grabbed hold of the handle and held the bowl over the fire to warm it up a little. Once it was just warm enough, I looked up at Balian quite serious. 

"This is going to sting, probably, a lot, but just try to keep still, alright?" He nodded and then poured the liquid into a bowl, then dipped another cloth into the water and began to slowly and gently dab the wound to clean it. He winced and hissed a little, but I kept a firm yet gentle hold of his hand. "See? It's not so bad now. You do have a touch of frostbite, too, but that shouldn't take too long to heal, either." 

My eyes quickly lifted and I could see how hollow-eyed and exhausted he was. "You should rest a bit." 

"I would, but there is somewhere I must go first." 

Balian sat his mare atop a small hill and the three of us rode down. Godfrey spurred forward and I was not surprised that he noticed his son's distraught condition. 

"Have you come to kill me?" he asked, humorously. "Even these days, it is not easy, so what is it you want?"

"Is it true that in Jerusalem I may erase my sins, and those...of my wife. Is it true?"

"We’ll find out together."

"I’ve done murder."

Father and son looked at each other; a look of understanding passed over them. Godfrey nodded.

"Haven’t we all," he said, kindly but with a hint of mystery. "Look at his hand."

"I patched it up as best I could," I said, "My mother taught me how to bandage a wound." 

Hospitaler gently picked up Balian's hand and observed it, "She did it perfectly, though I suggest we keep an eye on it should it become infected." 

That night, we all sat by the fire and I re-wrapped his hand; let's say the boys were surprised at my knowledge of medicine; I couldn't help but be proud of myself, too, considering I knew nothing about ancient medicine. He was given a drink by the Hospitaler. 

"It is the poppy which grows in the East," he explained to me. "I think it is the true lotus that the men of Odysseus ate. It numbs all pain. A burn needs that, and butter."

I nodded, taking note of it in case we needed it later and looked up, watching as a falling star glittered and exploded. The men of the camp exclaimed at it and Rosie grinned, pointing to it. 

"You'll never see stars like that in the city," she whispered to me and I shook my head in awe. 

Balian stared across the fire at Godfrey, who returned his stare, then he shifted his eyes toward me. He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, he fell asleep instantly. 

* * *

Breakfast was a small serving of porridge, which was surprisingly tasty considering the fact that I didn't like oatmeal one bit. But at least it was food and it was filling enough to sustain us for a few hours at least, so I ate it without complaint. I did wish that it had some sugar or something sweet to make it taste less bland. As we all seated on damp logs, a sword was thrown into the leaf-mold and I jumped back in surprise. Balian looked up from his porridge at Godfrey, who leaned on another sword. 

"His hand is hurt, my lord, best not to risk further injury," Hospitaler warned.

"I have fought two days with an arrow through a testicle." Godfrey replied. 

"Ah, yes." Hospitaler said, almost rolling his eyes in amusement. 

"Now that image has been embedded into my head, so thank you," Rosie said, glancing down at the ground uncomfortably. The other crusaders laughed. 

Godfrey then swung the flat of his sword at Balian, who, favoring his burnt hand parried, clumsily but like lightning and with great force.

Balian took up a "low" guard, in terrible pain. He knew what he’s doing on a duffer’s level. He was strong, dangerous, a natural, and Godfrey knew it.

"Never take a low guard. Watch." He raised the sword above his head. "Like this. This guard by the Italians is called la posta di falcone...one strikes from high. Like this. Do it."

Balian duplicated the posture while his opponent from the high guard swung low and sweeping and he parried. The great sword hacked into the dirt. But when Balian struck at Godfrey...clang! His sword spun away, and ended up falling point down into the earth, the cross hanging sideways, much like a grave marker. It was obvious: Balian may have had some experience, but he was no match for a knight. 

"Now, let's see what you've both learned." I glanced up, seeing the sword in front of me. My eyes shifted back and forth between the man standing before me and the sword. Rosie was doing the same thing, but she stood up confidently and she and her opponent went a little ways and began their training. 

_You've got to be kidding me right now._

_The only knowledge of swords I have are from movies and television shows._

Standing up, my eyes shifted to Balian who was consumed with defeat and was taking it out on the dirt in front of him, but he glanced back at me once he saw what was going on, and for a second, he looked confused.

"You're not expecting her to be able to do this, are you?" 

"I'm a woman, not a helpless baby," I said, rolling up my sleeves, "I think I'm perfectly capable of learning, besides, I might have to save your life one day, and in which case you'll thank me." I got into a defensive position, not wanting to embarrass myself in front of all of these men, and Rosie, though I wondered if she was as inexperienced as I was, or if somehow she was better than me, but as it turns out, just as I imagined, swordplay was a lot harder than the movies made it seem.

There was no doubt that I was no Captain Jack Sparrow or Zorro, or even a Musketeer, but at least I knew how to hold one and I was quickly learning how to block an attack. Delivering one, however was much more difficult, and though having to admit defeat was a small punch to my modest ego, it was something that I would remember for the rest of my life. 

How many people can say that they duel and were trained by a crusader besides the two of us? 

We knew that we couldn't stay here long, and therefore, we needed to pack and get ready to leave, where we were going was something I wanted to question, but something inside me knew that something wasn't right and I turned to Rosie who looked over her shoulder and following her gaze, I saw two men on horseback. Everyone became silent as the men approached, stopping before Godfrey and the others. He turned to Rosie and I. 

"It's an ambush; Stay out of sight, don't come back until I give the word, do you understand?" Rosie and I nodded slowly, standing up, and moving quickly to the giant tree on our right, hiding so that we were indeed out of sight, but we were close enough to see what was going on, but we weren't close enough to hear exactly what they were saying, just fragments of conversation could be heard and that was when a half dozen men at arms with pikes came out of the trees just ahead of us. Had we been any closer, we would have been dead already. 

Godfrey’s party was flanked on both sides: crossbowmen to the left, pikemen to the right; there was more conversation, but because we were so far away, it was all drowned out by clashes of steel and cries of pain; a volley of crossbow bolts flew out of the trees and struck in multiple places. That was all it was, striking and stabbing and though my body and mind told me to stay hidden, my heart was aching to help them. 

"We won't be much help to them dead, will we?" Rosie asked. "Think about our families, how if we ever return we want to be in one piece, right?" 

"Just because I decide to do as I'm told, that doesn't mean I have to like it or agree with it," I replied, "I should be out there with them, not just sitting here and hiding like a coward." I sat down on the grass against the trunk and started picking out the blades, then peeked around to see what was happening. There were people getting killed all around us, blood spurting this way and that, it was a scene out of a horror film. 

"I know, I don't like it either, but it's almost over, okay? We just have to stay here for a bit." She put her arm around me and I closed my eyes, leaning into her. 

* * *

Before any of us knew it, the small battle was over with some minor injuries from everyone, except for Godfrey, who had an arrow head stuck in his lower right ribs on the side, and by the time night fell, we had ridden further into the forest just in case the bishop decided to send some more men after us and so we could find somewhere to clean up and regroup.

Hospitaler was by Godfrey's side, trying to take out the arrow head with a pair of plyers, at least that's what they looked like. I was sitting with them, making sure that his patient was kept as calm as possible.

"Ah, well, you broke the arrow," he stated, taking out the arrow head and dumping it into a can of water, seeing the pained look his friend made. I used a cloth and put pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding out until a bandage was quickly acquired. "If the ribs are broken, some marrow may enter the blood, in which case you'll take a fever and die, or a cyst will form, and you'll live. You're in the hands of God."

Godfrey merely sighed, staring at his friend tiredly and in pain. "Get me some more wine."

Hospitaler stood and went to find a flask of wine while I stayed a little longer by the fire, but when Godfrey motioned to Balian to come over to him, I also went a ways away to give them privacy. My eyes darted from the dark forest and up past the branches to the bright star-lit sky, to Rosie laughing with the other crusaders. 

"My father," Balian said quietly beside me, startling me slightly. "Wishes to speak with you."

I turned my head to Balian, smiling sadly, then walked towards Godfrey, tears starting to form in my eyes, but I kept them back for both our sakes. Godfrey merely took his other hand and covered mine. We stayed silent for a long while, the fire crackling and the whispering continuing behind me. Words did not need to be spoken, our eyes told each other all we needed to say. 

"I want you to know that you are like a granddaughter that I never had…" Godfrey frowned at this. "Or at least I have never heard from."

I smiled, laughing with a shake of my head, then I leaned out and kissed Godfrey's forehead before pressing my own against it. "And you are like the grandfather I never had." 

Rosie must have sensed what was going on, and when she met my gaze, her smile slowly melted. We both knew what was coming, but all we could do was helplessly watch, though I felt sick doing so. 

It was late; the temperature had dropped dramatically, the fire had gone out earlier and Balian, Rosie and I managed to light it. Pretty much everyone else had gone to bed now, leaving just Godfrey and I; the two of us stayed up together, mostly enjoying the peace and quiet, but once in a while, we would talk about our past. He would be the only one to know about where Rosie and I came from. 

At first, I thought that maybe he would think that I was crazy, but he just smiled. 

"Well, that explains why you knew so much about medicine. Let's just hope that you will learn to hold a sword just as well." 

"You and me both." 


	4. Chapter 4

It had been three weeks since we had left French territory—finally. We had warm clothes on to protect us from the wind constantly nipping at any exposed skin, mostly our hands, and occasionally our ears and faces; I was sure that at one point I would lose all feeling in my fingers and they would fall off like that poor guy’s toe did in  _ At World’s End _ . Imagine what my mother and father would have said had they seen their daughter with one less finger. 

To be honest, if both our families knew what we were up to, they would lose their minds, worrying over us, therefore, we needed to do our very best to survive and in one piece. Wishful thinking, maybe, but if we stuck to the plan and not did anything rash, then all would be well. 

Speaking of the plan, I already had the feeling that even though Balian and I were friends, and nothing more, something would change and I would end up falling in love with him, anyways. I knew that he ended up falling in love with Sibylla - who we hadn’t met yet - and that my chances with him would be slim, so although the thought had crossed my mind and at first I was a bit disappointed, it was much easier for the both of us, especially since we didn’t know when or how we would return to our world. 

"No one said anything about the cold," Rosie said and I could hear her teeth chattering as she spoke. She drew her cloak tighter around herself and then sighed, a cloud of warm air evaporated into the sky. Turning around, I could see that we were a little further behind than the rest of the group, therefore we both took off into a run, managing to catch up with them. 

“It will be fine,” I said, “just focus on something hot and then it won’t be so bad.” 

“That’s terrible advice,” she replied, “though now that you mention it, thinking of something hot does make it easier for me to bear.”

“See? What did I tell ya, anyway, I don’t think we have to walk for much longer, we’re almost at the campsite, there we can build a fire and stock up on supplies.” 

But that was the least of our troubles; as we continued on, both Balian and I rode behind the group, watching over Godfrey who was laying in a small cart as he could not ride anymore. I wondered how much longer it would take for us to arrive so that his wound could be properly attended to. It's a shame that the medical innovations we have nowadays did not yet exist, chances are he would have been healed by now. 

As we passed by a peasant on top of some crates, the crusaders, Balian, Rosie and I glared at him in disgust of the words he was saying loudly over and over again as if they were some sort of magical chant that would heal the sick and awaken the dead. 

"To kill an infidel is not murder. It is the path to heaven." He smiled his rotten teeth towards the group, completely believing what he was saying to us. "To kill an infidel is not murder. It is the path to heaven."

Rosie turned from him to speak to us. "And here I thought that one of the Ten Commandments was 'thou shalt not kill' at least that's what Mum said." 

“I’m not bold enough to discuss religion, or politics; they are what cause most wars, aren’t they? Differences in beliefs, who has more power over who, this world has been messed up since the beginning of time and there’s our proof.” 

Godfrey only smiled, shaking his head, and I wondered if any of them even knew what we were even talking about; I kept walking, looking up at the sky and seeing the kind of clouds that could bring snow, maybe it would liven up the atmosphere a little, it would make it feel more like wintertime; without a calendar, I wasn’t sure of the date, or even the time of day. 

I suppose I would have to learn to tell the time the old fashioned way, by using the sun and whatever powers early human civilizations used to be able to tell when it was time to sleep, eat, wake up, and - wait, did I mention that there weren’t any modern toilets here? I would simply love to explain how we learned how to dig a hole and then cover it up again, but I don’t think you want to read about that, do you? I didn’t think so. It would be pretty awkward if you did. I can guarantee that every one of us had to ‘dig the hole’ at least once during our walk. 

We also noticed the Pilgrims gathered together, each of them wearing, in some fashion, the cross. The Hospitaler stopped to speak to an old man at the head of a party. "Where do you go?"

"To Jerusalem, brother," the man replied; there was a look in his eyes that told us that he would rather march on than stop for a conversation, he was on a mission, and he would not stop for anything. 

"By which road?"

"Someone knows. God knows."

And that was the end of it, and there was something off about the sentence that made us all uncomfortable; the Hospitaler leaned over and addressed Godfrey, "We shall never stop this madness."

"It will soon be beyond my concern." 

Ignoring the last statement, because it wounded me a little, I could hear Rosie’s relieved sigh when we made it safely to the camp. Sliding off my horse, I removed the saddle and stuffed my hand into my bag, finding a tasty treat for her. A freshly picked apple from one of the trees in a nearby orchard. I was selective when it came to apples, somehow the ones from the grocery stores, didn’t do the orchard ones justice. 

“There you are, girl. There's a lake right here where you and the others can drink. Rosie, can you help me with this?” I marched through a puddle of mud and up a short hill where I started making a bed out of sheets and some old posts made out of damp wood. If only my dad were here with me right now, then he could have told me how to do it. But building a makeshift bed was as easy as putting up a tent as I would later discover. 

When it was done, I stepped back, putting a finger under my chin in thought; it wasn’t the best, and certainly not the most comfortable, but we had to make do with the little we had. I addressed the two crusaders who brought Godfrey over and gently laid him down on it. He was hardly strong enough to speak, but he managed a weak smile at Rosie and I. 

A little later, when all the tents had been put up, Hospitaler tended to him, washing the wound which seemed to be much worse than yesterday. I hated to know what was going to happen, if we'd been sent to this universe completely blind, I would never have known that he would soon die. 

I had a feeling that this would be the first of many unpredictable and unfortunate events to come and my main priority www to keep everyone as well as myself safe. And in order to do that, I would need to become better and more capable with a sword. It would not be a good idea to not be able to defend myself.

Picking up the sword, I swung it a few times at an imaginary opponent, striking and parrying; I continued at it for several minutes and I groaned in frustration, sitting in the ground and burying my face in my hands and taking deep breaths to calm down. 

"Do not worry, little one, I am sure that you will get better in time." Godfrey told me softly. I nodded. 

Even when Balian and I sat at a distance, watching them, as much as I wanted to prepare him for this, I couldn't tell him that all the while he'd been suffering the loss of his wife and stillborn child, he was going to lose his father, too. The look in his eyes told me that he already knew, in fact, everyone in our party seemed to sense the inevitable. 

I opened my mouth, ready to offer some advice or words of comfort when someone came riding through. A splendid knight in the red cross that we would soon associate with extremists in Jerusalem. 

"Guy," Rosie said distastefully under her breath, then her eyes shifted upward toward the man marching up to Godfrey’s tent with a party of knight-recruits as if he were the best thing since sliced bread. And trust me, he was anything but. 

"Who is this?" He said rather nastily, pointing to Balian. 

"My son," Godfrey told him, smirking at the look Guy gave him.

"Would I have fought you when you were still capable of making bastards." He said, laughing, and his men shared the same look of amusement. 

"I knew your mother when she was making hers." This time Guy did stop laughing. "Fortunately, you're too old to be one of mine."

_ Need some ice for that burn? _

"All will be settled," He said with a promising threat behind his words and  walked away. He would get what he deserved in time and when that moment came, I would revel in it. I didn't want to think about that right now, though. Instead, I dwelled on the thought that had plagued my mind since this whole thing started. 

"Why are we here?" Rosie asked loud enough for only the two of us to hear, "Is this part of some hundred-year-old prophecy? Two girls from the twenty-first century will be sent back in time to fight for all of humanity." 

"I've been trying to figure out the answer for the past three weeks and I still haven't managed to figure it out yet, but it appears we're going to be stuck here for a while." 

"Stuck here, with Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons? Doesn't sound too bad to me." She laughed quietly and I smiled, glancing over at Balian silently sharpening his own sword. 

"Let's just hope that we live long enough to tell the tale." I kept my eyes focused on him and I heard Rosie almost sighing beside me. 

"Go on, I know how badly you wish to speak with him, it might just be me, but you've been trying to get him to acknowledge you and speak to you for the past three weeks." 

"I haven't, not in the way you think. I just want to be there for him, you know." 

"Yeah, not that he appears to be in the speaking mood right now anyway, but you're right, maybe he just needs someone to be there quietly." 

Standing, I walked over to him and sat beside him on the log. I didn't mind the silence, having been used to it for the past three weeks. He didn't appear to notice that I was there at first, but after a minute, he stopped sharpening his sword. 

"My father is going to die, isn't he?" he asked quietly, not quite meeting my eyes. My silent gaze was all the reply he needed, he glanced over at me only for a second before his eyes began to focus on Godfrey. 

"It is a possibility," I told him truthfully. There was no sense of giving him false hope that his father would recover, I'd already tried to convince myself several times that everything would be alright, that if I prayed for a miracle, he would be healed. 

"How odd, I've never been close with him, but now I wish that he had come to me sooner." He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me and he was staring at the ground. I frowned, wondering what I could possibly do to help. 

I sighed with a shake of my head, then feeling eyes on me, turned to Rosie, who nodded to me with a sympathetic look upon her face. She was sitting with one of the other crusaders we'd managed to pick up along the way, one she appeared to be getting close to. When I asked her about it, she told me that she only saw him as a brother and nothing more. 

That was sort of what we all were, brothers and sisters. As far as we knew, no romantic feelings had been felt between us, and if there were, we kept them to ourselves. 

Without saying much else, Balian stood, and walked away down the hill, leaving me to sit on the opposite side of the fire alone. For a moment, I stared into the heart of the flame, then I closed my eyes, thinking rather deeply about everything that had happened and praying that when death finally knocked on the door, that it would be quick and painless. I also hoped that he would at least make it through the journey to Jerusalem. 

* * *

There had been a passing of time, in which we had made it to Messina, the port that would take us to Jerusalem early that morning. Godfrey had yet to get any better. He was paler and slightly in and out of consciousness. 

Two of the men placed their lord into a bed-like thing which could have been a stretcher, and Balian and I walked alongside him, neither of us wanted to leave his sight. He smiled at this, but it was also to reassure us that he would be fine, though he knew it in his heart that he was anything but fine and that his time would soon be coming. 

We dismounted in front of a building that served as an infirmary for those who have been injured or had gotten sick on the way here and we allowed the medicals to take him into the building to quickly be treated.

But when Balian, Rosie and I tried to enter the room with him upstairs, the healers told us to go and get some rest. On the one hand, I was glad to be able to rest after the long trip, even if we still had quite a ways to go, on the other, I felt guilty leaving him when he needed us most. 

Rosie wrapped an arm around me and sadly steered me away. Balian followed after us. But we went opposite ways once we reached the rooms at the other side of the second level, Rosie and I decided to share since the others had to share.

We bathed and dressed in clean clothing that the healers gave us while they washed our old ones, then laid down on the beds made ready for us. I missed my old room, having my sisters, my brother and my parents close by, and not hearing my dogs bark made me feel even more homesick. 

I woke up in the middle of the afternoon, seeing that Rosie's bed was empty. I eased out of mine, then I wandered the halls, looking for her. It seemed she had gone to visit the men in their room, and was sitting beside Balian. They all seemed to be on edge, of course who wouldn't be? 

A knock at the door interrupted us. I squeaked and took hold of Balian's arm, the closest thing I could think of for support. Once I figured out what I had done, I pulled away in embarrassment just as he told the person to enter. The healer who had told us to rest entered, bowing his head to them.

"Lord Godfrey is now sleeping at the moment but you all may go and see him if you wish it." And he left just like that, without another word. 

Balian was the first to stand, quickly walking out of the room, soon followed by Hospitaler and one of the crusaders, whose name I learned to be Ramiro. The others only stayed put, believing to wait until called upon. Rosie and I however, stayed behind because we knew that Godfrey had to speak to Balian first concerning his future. So she stays a bit longer, talking to them, not about anything of importance. 

Seeing that it was now mid-afternoon, I excused myself from the crusaders and walked out to go find Godfrey's room. I only hoped that he was done speaking with Balian about his future in Jerusalem. I gestured to Rosie to come with me. 

Walking aimlessly on the ground level for a good five minutes, we still hadn't found the right room yet; Rosie finally asked a healer to Godfrey's room. He pointed us in the right direction and we hurriedly walked towards the stairs to go back up.

Coming up to the door of the healing ward, Rosie entered first, but quickly stopped. Sitting next to Godfrey's bed was Balian, looking down to the floor. There were others in the small healing room, several healers mixing ingredients while others checked their patients. Godfrey lay in his bed with the sheets drawn back from his bed so he was able to see the afternoon sun pouring its light into the open arch windows, a plain view of the other side of the building. He did not have a sheet over his body as his fever increased and the heat would only increase it more.

"Looks like we arrived not a moment too soon," she said quietly, "we should wait out here a little bit longer, just until...you know, this whole thing passes over. I don’t think we should interrupt such a moment." 

"Do you know," Godfrey spoke softly, "What lies in the holy land? A new world. A man who, in France, had not a house… is, in the holy land, the master of a city. He who was the master of a city begs in the gutter. There, at the end of the world, you are not what you were born, but what you have in yourself to be."

"I hope to find forgiveness. That's all I know." Balian said quietly. He always appeared to have a quiet manner, avoiding any confrontation and not wanting to engage in conversation unless he needed to. This was definitely one of those times. Godfrey reached for him, his breathing shallow. Balian stood so he could sit on the edge of the bed, taking hold of his father's right hand. He leaned forward as his father took shallow breaths.

"Whatever your position, you are of my house, and that means you will serve the king of Jerusalem." Godfrey told him sternly.

Balian frowned slightly, confused. "What could a King ask of a man like me?"

"A better world than has ever seen," the old crusader smiled, "A kingdom of conscience. A kingdom of heaven. There is peace between Christian and Muslim. We live together. Or," Godfrey started as an afterthought. "Between Saladin and the King, we try. Did you think that lay at the end of the Crusade?" Balian shook his head, looking down. "It does." Balian looked up, somewhat surprised. "My son, you are all that survives me. Do not disappoint me."

Balian was stunned. How was he supposed to respond to that? To have such a weight placed upon his shoulders and to try and not disappoint his father? It was a lot of pressure, but he simply nodded. 

I started to walk out, but Rosie took my arm. "Not yet, just wait a few more-" I didn't give her a chance to continue, instead, I stepped silently inside, wondering if I truly wanted to see Godfrey, in such a state. Knowing that he was to die later on that night after knighting his son… or could be possible a few days later? With movies, no one can ever tell what day or month it is until one does some serious research.

As if sensing our presence, Balian stood, squeezing his father's hand before leaving his side and walking toward the entrance. Rosie kept her place beside him. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge as Balian had done a few moments ago. Taking Godfrey's hand in mine, I smiled sadly at him as I tried to hold back my tears. This was not the first time I'd seen death and it certainly wouldn't be the last; the thought overwhelmed me. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to fight. I wanted to go home. 

I let the tears go, crying softly, but feeling as though I was breaking more and more. I didn't have much to say, nor did I want to say anything because if I did, I would shatter into a million tiny pieces. I leaned forward and we held onto each other, ignoring the displeased looks of almost all of the healers; I didn't care. 

He was the only one. The only one Rosie and I had ever told about our story and how we got here. The worst nights would pass on with those conversations, just the three of us. Of course to him, it was already pretty obvious; because of the way we talked and would have rather worn tunics rather than dresses. I sighed and sat up, wiping my dry tears. Standing, I leaned downwards and kissed Godfrey on his forehead. “It’s alright, you can rest now.” I whispered before walking away and never looking back. 

* * *

The next morning, I stood in between the healing house and another building with daggers tied around my thighs, thinking that eventually, I would become an expert. Rosie put up her hood and walked out into the crowded street. She turned to the left and walked towards the markets, I managed to catch up with her, and we walked together in silence, none of us were in the mood to talk; the only sound I wanted to hear was the sound of gravel and dirt crunching underneath my feet. 

We had found a table that we could all sit at and have a bite to eat, knowing that within the hour, we would be on a boat, tossed about like a pancake. It wasn’t going to be fun, chances are we would all be verging on insanity by the time we would reach our destination. 

And I became even more irritable watching Guy, who showed up without being invited, tap the table once with a large stick. 

The rest of us completely ignored him; he was worse than a child begging for attention, though I’d never had the urge to slap a child, I would have gladly slapped him, or better yet, whacked him with that stick he was holding. He tapped it a couple more times, just waiting to get a reaction out of us, and Balian finally looked up at him, annoyed. They stared at one another until Balian only looked away, eating his crab once more.

"When the King is dead, Jerusalem will be no place for friends of Muslims, or traitors to Christendom," Guy stated, placing the stick across Balian's chest, but he continued to ignore him, picking up his goblet for a drink of his wine. "Like your father." 

Balian moved back his drink looking at Philip, who was looking up at Guy while Rosie saw exactly how I was feeling; my jaw was set in anger, knowing what was to come next and she continued watching me with uneasy eyes. I could feel myself rising up from where I was sitting, I could imagine how the rest of the scene would play out. I was not a confrontational person, but I was sensitive, things bothered me easily and so this was as if I had been hit in the face and now I was inclined to hit back. 

"I am Guy de Lusignan, Remember that name." He was about to hit Balian when a firm hand took his stick from him, the words 'And me,' were lost on the tip of his tongue.

"I suggest you move along," I said in a deep voice that hardly sounded like my own, I was surprised, but I didn’t let it show, I just continued glaring at the taller man who glared right back. 

"And who are you?" He snarled.

I wasn’t fazed by his attitude or the air of higher authority he gave. "Someone you don’t want to trifle with," I hissed, smirking at him. "Now leave."

Glaring at me, he started to walk away, not uttering a single word to any of them. Breathless, I sat on Balian's left, the anger slowly leaving me. 

“How will you ride, my lord, if you cannot beat the horse?” Guy would have liked to kill Balian on the spot. But his men had already ridden on and the English Sergeant was no joke. 

“I will see you in Jerusalem.” Guy rode his horse past the port, his men clattering after him and I was glad once he was gone. 

"You should not have done that," Philip told me, pointing after him. "He will be King of Jerusalem one day."

"I know," I told him, knowing full well that if the two of us ever came face to face again, one of us would end up dead, most likely me. "But when he does, I doubt he will have any success since no one seems to like him all that much."

Balian couldn’t help a smile as he wiped at his defiled tunic, Godfrey’s livery, staring after Guy.

* * *

That night, we met with Balian, dressed in his white gown, as he and a few other men walked along a hallway. I ventured to put my hand in his, which I could tell he appreciated. This was not crossing a boundary, this was not announcing anything, it was only providing stability and kindness to a friend whose father was dying. There was this horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach, nothing could hide the shakiness in my voice as I told Rosie why I was so anxious, and nothing could hide the trembling of my body as it expected what was going to happen. 

We entered the room, and as much as we would have preferred to be by his side, we kept a respectful distance as Godfrey was brought to his feet, supported by two Hospitallers; our familiar, spoke kindly, "Get on your knees."

Balian complied and his father came forward through the gloom. Then he stood by himself above him; a true leader as ever there was. "Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless, and do no wrong." 

He paused for a breath, and for effect.. "That is your oath." With the last of his strength, he delivered a blow with his open hand, nearly sending the man sprawling backwards. Yes, that was exactly what I would have expected, since I remembered this scene very distinctly. "And that’s so you remember it." 

As Balian recovered from the unexpected action, Godfrey was being helped back to his bed and Hospitaller leaned over and whispered to Balian, "Rise a knight, and Baron of Ibelin." 

Godfrey gripped Balian’s hand. "Defend the king. If the king is no more, protect the people. " He handed him his sword, and turned to Rosie and I, “And most importantly, protect each other.”

Hospitaller spoke softly to Godfrey, "You must confess now to Holy God, my lord. Are you sorry for all your sins?" 

"For all but one," he replied, almost inaudible and glanced to his son, and we understood the hidden meaning behind those four simple words. Oil was applied to his head, while the others spoke in Latin. Godfrey slowly made the sign of the cross; and died. 


End file.
